Some Answers to the Unicru personality test

Commentary by Timothy Horrigan; January 27, 2009

Many of us find ourselves in need of whatever dumb job we can get. And one dumb job which is still reasonably abundant even in these bad times is "Big Box" Retail. Many of these stores use a seemingly inscrutable personality test called the "Unicru" test. Even though I tend to be good at standardized tests and have even worked in the testing industry for a while, I have flunked this one a time or two. Happily, I have found one of the many answer keys which is floating around the internet.

This is a totally unofficial key, compiled off the top of my head from my limited experience and study, using random materials which have been floating around the web for years. Use it at your own risk. I got the basic info from a blogger named "Yowling Cat" on an autism/Asperger's blog called WrongPlanet. He or she got it from someone named Daniel. I tweaked it by sorting the prompts by the expected answers— which are always "Strongly Agree" or "Strongly Disagree." You actually have four options to choose from, when asked whether a statement applies to you or not:

  1. Strongly Disagree

  2. Disagree

  3. Agree

  4. Strongly Agree

"Disagree" or "Agree" are NEVER the right answer to any question, even though any sensible person will have mixed feelings about all these questions.

There are 99 questions in this list. I have taken this test several times, and I am pretty confident all these questions are still in use, and I don't specifically recall any other questions. You will not have to answer all 99 of them, but you will be asked about half of these questions. If you get enough right answers, you go in the Green pile and you may be called in for an interview. If you get almost enough right answers, there is a Yellow pile, which is used if no one from the Green pile wants the job. If you get too many wrong answers, you go in the Red pile and the store will be unable to proceed with the hiring process.

The general drift of the test is to try to make sure that you are hard-working and honest but not too ambitious— and you must be cheerful all the time and enjoy being around people all day. The answers are mostly straightforward. The only surprising answers are that they think it is good if you think that "You are somewhat a of a thrill-seeker" and that it is bad if you think "Many people cannot be trusted."

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Question

Answer

Any trouble you have is your own fault

SA

It is easy for you to feel what others are feeling

SA

It is fun to go to events with big crowds

SA

It is maddening when the court lets guilty criminals go free

SA

When someone treats you badly, you ignore it

SA

When you are done with your work, you look for more to do

SA

When you go someplace, you are never late

SA

When your friends need help, they call you first

SA

You agree with people more often than you argue

SA

You always try not to hurt people's feelings

SA

You are a friendly person

SA

You are always cheerful

SA

You are careful not to offend people

SA

You are proud of the work you do at school or on a job.

SA

You are somewhat a of a thrill-seeker

SA

You avoid arguments as much as possible

SA

You can wait patiently for a long time

SA

You chat with people you don't know

SA

You could describe yourself as 'tidy'

SA

You do not fake being polite

SA

You do things carefully so you don't make mistakes

SA

You finish your work no matter what

SA

You give direct criticism when you need to

SA

You got mostly good grades in high school

SA

You hate to give up if you can't solve a hard problem

SA

You have always had good behavior in school or work

SA

You have confidence in yourself

SA

You have no big regrets about your past

SA

You have no big worries

SA

You ignore people's small mistakes

SA

You keep calm when under stress

SA

You know when someone is in a bad mood, even if they don't show it

SA

You like to be in the middle of a big crowd

SA

You like to plan things before you do them.

SA

You like to talk a lot

SA

You love to be with People.

SA

You love to listen to people talk about themselves

SA

You make more sensible choices than careless ones

SA

You rarely act without thinking

SA

You think of yourself as being very sensible

SA

You try to sense what others are thinking and feeling

SA

You were absent very few days from high school

SA

You work best at a slow but steady speed

SA

You would rather work on a team than by yourself

SA

Your friends and family approve of the things you do

SA

Your moods are steady from day to day

SA

It bothers you a long time when someone is unfair to you

SD

It bothers you when you have to obey a lot of rules

SD

It is hard to really care about work when the job is boring

SD

Many people cannot be trusted

SD

Other people's feelings are their own business

SD

People are often mean to you

SD

People do a lot of annoying things

SD

People do a lot of things that make you angry

SD

People who talk all the time are annoying

SD

People's feelings are sometimes hurt by what you say

SD

Right now, you care more about having fun than being serious at school or work

SD

Slow people make you impatient

SD

There are some people you really can't stand

SD

There's no use having close friends; they always let you down

SD

When people make mistakes, you correct them

SD

When you are annoyed with something, you say so

SD

When you need to, you take it easy at work

SD

You are a fairly private person

SD

You are more relaxed than strict about finishing things on time

SD

You are not afraid to tell someone off

SD

You are not interested in your friends' problems

SD

You are unsure of what to say when you meet someone

SD

You are unsure of yourself with new people

SD

You change from felling happy to sad without any reason

SD

You could not deal with difficult people all day

SD

You criticize people when they deserve it

SD

You do not like small talk

SD

You do not like to meet new people

SD

You do not like to take orders

SD

You do some things that upset people

SD

You do what you want, no matter what others think

SD

You don't act polite when you don't want to

SD

You don't believe a lot of what people say

SD

You don't care if you offend people

SD

You don't care what people think of you

SD

you don't work hard because it doesn't pay off anyway

SD

You don't worry about making a good impression

SD

You get angry more often that nervous

SD

You get mad at yourself when you make mistakes

SD

You have friends, but don't like them to be too close

SD

You have to give up on some things that you start

SD

You ignore people you don't like

SD

You like to be alone

SD

You like to take frequent breaks when working on something difficult

SD

You look back and feel bad about things you've done

SD

You say whatever is on your mind

SD

You show it when you are in a bad mood

SD

You sometimes thought seriously about quitting highschool

SD

You swear when you argue

SD

You would rather not get involved in other people's problems

SD

You'd rather not compete very much

SD

You've done your share of troublemaking

SD

Your stuff is often kind of messy

SD

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 [December 14, 2009] I have been through the Unicru process a couple of times myself recently. The test is the same as it ever was — although I am pretty sure new questions have been added.

    1. Best Buy seemed to be ignoring my application, even though I had an answer key and presumably scored well on the Unicru test. But then, out of the blue, they sent me an email informing me: "You recently completed an application for a store job with Best Buy Co., Inc. and that application has now expired. If you are in an interview process for a different position, please continue with that process. " Apparently, they never reject anyone: they just let their applications "expire." (It was unclear what I was expected to do to "continue" the process for some different position: I did the only thing I could do, which was nothing..) Best Buy then invited me to sign with some sort of omnibus Unicru application site called "AllianceQ." Best Buy is participating in AllianceQ's"Open Skies" program, whose motto underlines something companies forget: "Because candidates are customers too!" I am a little afraid to fill out an AllianceQ application because I worry that I would mess up the test and thus render myself ineligible for the whole pool of participating employers. I will take the plunge eventually, I suppose. In any case, Best Buy's AllianceQ link is:

    2. I got an actual face-to-face interview with Lowe's Home Improvement. It was the wrong gig for me, and I also messed up some of the bureaucratic details. (In particular, I applied in October 2009 for a "seasonal" job at a store whose seasonal season is in the summer rather than at Christmastime. Also, the particular store I applied to was a new store in Greenland, NH which wouldn't be opening till after Christmas 2009.) The first phase of their application process is the classic Unicru minus the personality test but plus a few added questions. You don't have to take the personality test until the HR people "unlock" your application, which they do at the same time that they call you to schedule the interview. I don't know what they do if someone gets unlocked and scheduled for the interview but then flunks the test.

On a happier note, one of my fellow Second Life players featured this web page on his Livejournal blog. In First Life, he uses the pen names "Michael Timberwoof" and "Timberwuf."

I have reason to believe he was formerly a "Linden" named Wolfgang Linden (no relation to the Real Life scientist named Wolfgang Linden.) Timberwoof is an "elfwoof" furry, and I would not be surprised if he someday turns up in elfwoofen form at the weekly events one of my (human) avatars hosts at Gypsy's Midnight Club.



 [August 26, 2009] This page was prominently featured on Reddit.com on August 25, 2009, generating several thousand extra hits. It also generated some interesting comments. .(My favorite comment was "I find all of these tests are best approached by answering all the questions as Ned Flanders.") You can see the comments at:



See Also:






           

  In 2010, I am cosponsoring a somewhat controversial bill, repealing New Hampshire's 200-year-old adultery laws:


The Forgotten Liars