My January 1, 2005 Leather & Lace Review

Additional Commentary Copyright © 2006 Timothy Horrigan

This is a review which I wrote a while back for some sketchy web site (for no pay) and which has been passed on to affiliated web sites:



Posted By: Tim Horrigan
Posted On: 1/1/2005

Atmosphere: Not Applicable

Dancer Looks: The dancers in this club are above average

Dancer Ratio: There were an average number of dancers

Drink Service: Not Applicable

It's not really a club per se in the usual sense. It is a clean, well-lit local porno shop which happens to have one or two friendly (but not oversolicitous) ladies sitting on a couch (or perhaps wandering around.) The women range in attractiveness from reasonably attractive to quite hot. Some have their original boobs, though most have been augmented. You will eventually be asked if you are familiar with the shows. The shows use a slightly odd format (which is caused by past legal battles with local authorities): you sit in one little booth in the back of the shop in front of a TV screen while your new found friend strips for a TV camera in the adjacent booth. The standard tip is a $10 tip to the girl for a topless show and $20 for a nude show (or you can give more, for a wilder show or just out of sense of gratitude)--- plus a dollar a minute (minimum $5 for the first 5 minutes) to keep the camera turned on. Usually you will spend between $30 or $50. You can also watch videos in the booth if you prefer, and I think some people pay money just to sit in a booth and smoke. (The store is also a tobacco shop, so smoking inside is legal, if you're into that sort of thing, which I am not.) There may be more fun to be had: the people who own the store own the whole building, and there are some unmarked suites upstairs. The south wall of the building bears the wonderful billboard: "FIREWORKS: TATTOOS: AIR-CONDITIONED OFFICE SPACE FOR RENT: NUDE LADIES." A funny little place, well worth the detour if you find yourself in the vicinity.

Additional Commentary:

I probably shouldn't admit to having even thought about visiting such a disreputable place, but here is a review which I wrote on (evidently) New Year's Day 2005 about Leather & Lace, which is a famous Seabrook, NH institution. It is a neighborhood sex shop, which also has nude dancers. Not all of them dance in the strictest sense of the verb "to dance", though some of them do. Actually, this is by no means the weirdest place in Seabrook, which is a town full of weird little places (as well as a nuclear power plant and a Wal-Mart.)

In any case, for a ridiculously reasonable fee, you can sit in one of several booths in back of the store and look at a video screen while the woman dances (or does whatever it is she does) in front of a camera in another booth. If you have a free hand, you can pan and zoom your camera using a control panel next to the screen. Your lady friend has a camera and video screen of her own. (Maybe even two video screens, since it might be useful for her to see what the other person is looking at with his camera.) You can always hear what's going on in her cubicle, but she can only hear you if you press a button on an intercom. According to prominent (and truthful) signs, "Soliciting, Touching, and Improper Behavior are Strictly Forbidden." Proper behavior seems to be quite liberally defined, as long as you stay in your own room, and as long as you are respectful of the woman in the other room. Paper towels are provided in case of spillage. The place is kept very clean, although you will occasionally see a suspicious wet spot on the floor.

Two things to bear in mind are that she's not going to come out from behind the video screen and she's not going to take her shoes off. (The women usually wear very elaborate boots which would take many seconds to take off.) After the show, it's OK to briefly exchange pleasantries with any staff members you pass by on your way out the door, but the star of your show will stay backstage until you've gone away.

Usually there are two "girls" on duty at any given time: normally, you have your pick of one girl-next-door type and one scary-looking (but mostly harmless) biker-chick type (assuming one of each is actually available). There are two shifts, one starting at 11 am or so, and one around 6pm or so. The star performer used to be a willowy and humorous blonde of indeterminate age (possibly over 50) who called herself "Summer." She actually can (and does) dance (or so I am told), and she has an amazing collection of tiny outfits. She's loads of fun, but she seems to have retired.

The current star calls herself "Christy" and she is definitely worth a look-see if you're in the neighborhood. Her breasts alone are worth the price of admission: you will have a hard time believing that such boobs could actually exist in real life. They're probably not 100% natural, but they are 100% real, and she's not shy about showing them off. She has the face of Jennifer Anniston and the body of Lara Croft— as well as the shamelessness of Paris Hilton. And she talks dirty with great dignity and aplomb. Frankly, she seems overqualified to be working in such a dinky little joint, though I suppose there are worse places a person could work. (I often wonder how much money the women at Leather & Lace are making: my guess is that they're not getting rich but they're making a middle-class living.)

Another noteable Girl is "Mercedes." Mercedes, in addition to being amazingly statuesque, has a remarkable display of tattoos, many— but not all— of which you can preview for free just by stopping by the store when she's working. If you like tattoos, she's your dream girl. Even if (like me) you aren't particularly into tattoos, she's OK. Better than OK, much better than OK, actually...

Some places my review turned up:


Also worth mentioning:

     

 In late November 2007, a review turned up on StripClubList.com, by someone whose handle was "Zapotocky." The original URL (which sadly may be permanently broken) was:


Zapotocky (11/24)

It's a neighborhood porn shop out on Route 1 near a nuclear power plant. It's fun sometimes, and always when the fabulous Christie is there, who is a goddess... great personality, great implants, is always naughty yet classy. She's way overqualified to be working in such a dinky little place, but I am sure she has good reasons for being there. She's not to be missed. The woman with the 6 inch scar across her belly is Tara [who was disparaged in someone else's previous review]... not sure if she works there anymore... the scar is kind of endearing and she had a great natural figure, though I thought her boothside manner and costuming needed work. Basically, the shows are all on video... the woman goes off to another wing of the building and you watch on closed circuit TV and zoom the camera wherever you want to zoom it and communicate with an intercom (which can be a challenge if you are whacking off at the same time.) It's by no means an ideal setup but there should be places like this in every neighborhood. I am pleasantly surprised that they can keep operating. The founder of the store is in federal prison in Florida (on unrelated charges) and the staties recently ran a prostitution sting in the next town over which (amongst other Johns) ended the career of the UNH hockey team's announcer. But this place keeps going. Friendly, discreet staff, and generally "it is what it is" and it provides a useful service. As others have noted, the store has a good selection of sex items and cute little outfits, as well as 3-packs of old skin mags (though no one ever actually buys the magazines.)


Although Zapotocky was factually correct in referring to Christy's implants, it was probably a mistake: her breasts are indeed unbelievably big but they are also unbelievably beautiful. It doesn't matter if they are quote-unquote “Real” or not.

See also:

Escort Directory


You want it? WantedList's got it!


The Forgotten Liars

Buy adult toys and gifts at MyPleasure.